Do you remember the scene from Breaking Bad where Walter White gets his terminal diagnosis and just zones out, words turning into an incomprehensible murmur in the distance, only for him to be snapped back into reality by his doctor saying ‘…you have understood what I’ve just said to you.’
‘Yes. It’s not available anymore. Discontinued.’
Well, friends, I’ve received the dreaded news one too many times not to discuss it with you. If you suffer from this disease as well, you know the feeling. That sinking feeling. You play out the stages of grief every time, perfectly. Like a choreography you hate having practiced so much…
Denial
This cannot be happening. Not again. I thought this was end-game, how is this happening to me AGAIN? You are almost numb to the news, too numb to act.
Anger
Showing off your colorful vocabulary to your besties, lashing out to (innocent-until-proven-otherwise) sales associates, angrily writing about it on your blog… *clears throat* … Sometimes even resulting to actual physical violence. What? That glass broke itself, like those crystals that accumulate bad energy and just…snap.
Bargaining
At this point, you decide that some action is necessary. Contacting local retailers to find remaining stock, pleading to customer service online or over the phone, scouting the web for eBay sellers and paying an exuberate amount of money for a $10,99 gel eyeliner.
Depression
Sulking. Excessive eating. Not eating at all. You don’t want to go out. You’ll have to use the last of your favorite lipstick and that means that you will be 1/100th of an ounce closer to it being gone forever.
Acceptance
You finally find the strength to go hunting for the product that will hopefully replace your loved one. Not perfectly, but decently. You do not expect much, but you’re still somehow disappointed.
*melodically* nothing compares to you *starts crying*
At this point in life, I am truly starting to believe that certain decisions made from companies are a very calculated personal attack towards me, because this paranormal phenomenon is not only happening to my makeup and skincare, but household items as well. Like when my all time favorite Honey Mustard Barbeque sauce crossed the rainbow bridge to eternity. F*ck you Lidl, that hurt.
Let’s take a trip down memory lane and, for the sake of continuity, let’s include all the products that were reformulated so horribly we would have preferred them just be discontinued because, honestly, this is a slap in the face.
Urban Decay Naked Skin Concealer : I’m not gonna lie, I have’t gotten over this, still. You search and search and finally find a concealer that is perfect for you, color-wise and formula-wise only for it to be taken away from you, so abruptly. The Stay Naked concealer that succeded the throne of the-best-concealer-of-all-time is miles away from the dreamy formula of the original and the shades are just…off. It’s also too dry, so yeah. That sucked.
Maybelline Watershine Diamonds Lip Gloss : Let me talk to you about the best nude lipgloss that was ever created. The f*ckin Watershine Diamonds in the shade ‘Strawberry Carats’. A neutral-cool toned nude with fine gold AND silver micro-shimmer that glided on like water, did not feel sticky and didn’t disappear within minutes of you applying it. It smelled and tasted like strawberries (on a summer evening) too. LISTEN TO ME WHEN I SAY THIS all the other glosses do not hold a candle to Strawberry Carats. Consider yourself lucky if you have never used it. Ignorance is bliss. We have to live with the fact that every gloss we buy now is subpar.
While we’re on the topic of Maybelline, I am really reluctant to buy anything from the brand because they have the tendency to just change/discontinue whole lines of makeup and I will not condone this type of behaviour. Like the Lash Stylist mascara. And tens of other mascaras and lipsticks over the years. Just stop. Get some help, Maybelline.
Becca *everything* : The day the music died was actually the day Becca went out of business. It felt like being punched in the stomach. I partially blame Jaclyn Hill for the downfall of Becca, too much drama went down and poor Becca was not ready. Being acquired by Estee Lauder rarely helps when it comes to authenticity and innovation, but this? I wasn’t expecting this.
Becca Backlight Priming Filter has been my right-hand-man (I’m left handed, not iliterate) for so long.
Snapdragon is my ultimate blush. Shimmering Skin Perfectors were some of my favorite highlighters. I will never forgive EL for this. They should have terminated Smashbox instead.
I SAID WHAT I SAID.
Smashbox JetSet Waterproof Gel Eyeliner : To add insult to injury, the brand Estee Lauder Companies decided to keep over Becca, discontinued one of the very few GOOD things in their arsenal of delulu products. I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.
Essence Plump No Clump Mascara(s) : Finding a good mascara is harder than finding a good man. Finding a good affordable mascara is a miracle. We were not worthy of Plump No Clump. That’s why God took it away from us. You sinners did this. REPENT.
Bite Beauty Amuse Bouche Lipsticks : A moment of silence for one of the most wonderful formulas ever created. And an extra moment of silence for my favorite nude lipstick, Honeycomb. *sigh*
Onto the word that can send me to a rehabilitation center in 1.2 nanoseconds.
‘Reformulated’. ‘We’re not discontinuing, we’re reformulating’. ‘New and Improved formula’
This should be considered a federal crime. I know, I know, sourcing materials is a bitch, keeping up with restrictions is vital… I DO NOT CARE. Kill the product, KILL IT. Don’t you dare stand there and lie to my face that this is the same product, or better for that matter, when this poor excuse of a makeup item has nothing to do with the one I used daily for years. Do you know how stupid you sound? Just admit to it being different and let’s move on. GOD.
YSL Touche Éclat (Original) : Oh, to be 18 and getting your first high-end foundation again. I will kill someone over this, I swear. The distinct scent of the original Touche Éclat still lingers in my dreams…The perfect consistency, the perfect finish. A true skin-like, luminous foundation. I’m sad.
MAC Warm Soul Blush : This is the hill I’m dying on. I need to know why. I need closure. Why tamper with something so magical, so immaculate, so loved? Where do you find the audacity -THE NERVE- to say it is the same? It’s not the same, it’s not even similar! Ugh, I can’t.
Please head over to Dorigamii to read her wonderful article about it here.
Revlon Colorstay Foundation : Now, this is very new. I have been using the Colorstay foundation religiously for almost ten years and lately I have been noticing a few discrepancies regarding the viscosity of the product. A novice user wouldn’t be able to tell, but I can. I used to love the slightly thicker formula but now it’s not as thick. Is that bad? Not necessarily, but it’s not the same and I am easily annoyed.
Rumour has it Revlon has declared bankcruptcy and, I’m not gonna lie, I am not ok with this. I am asking you to give a few of their items a chance so we can keep them afloat. I cannot part ways with the Colorstay, I just can’t.
*deep breaths*
Venting has helped me a little, but honestly it doesn’t resolve the trauma embedded in my soul. And the worst part is, it’s bount to happen to me again. The curse will never be lifted… To all the fallen heroes in my kit. Farewell my loves. Gone, but never forgotten.
xoxo,
Macy
